Grieving Your Baby - Resources

I've listed all the things I've done over the past 5 years to help while grieving the loss of my two boys. If you or someone you know has lost a baby, due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, I hope this read helps in some way.

Some of the first things I purchased after I lost my oldest son, was custom jewelry. Something I could wear daily to remind me of him. Etsy has unique and affordable jewelry. I've added a link to my favorites (and other things related). I have worn the same bracelet with my son's heartbeat for the last 5 years. I've gone through a few necklaces I wear daily with both boys' names. Something that comes with losing a child is people don’t know if its okay to talk about the baby you lost. I could talk about mine for hours! The necklace is cute and gets a lot of conversations going giving you a chance to talk about your baby. I also ordered a breastmilk ring after I lost my youngest. This is something I wasn't aware was a thing for my first, but was able to get it for Chett. I try and tell as many people as I can about breastmilk jewelry, it's one of a kind, and you can get rings, earrings, and necklaces made. I used Milkyway Breastmilk Jewelry and have gifted it as well.

Something that I'll always hold close to my heart is this crocheted weighted doll. Customized to the size of my baby. His length, weight, and foot size (you can choose to add their head size as well). This specific person doesn't make them anymore but you can also search Etsy for them. I was only able to hold Cohen for less than 24 hours so this is very special to me.

The thing I'm most passionate about is donating to the hospital I gave birth at. If you're like me, giving back and helping others in the same situation helps you grieve and helps to feel closer to your baby. Every year on Cohen's birthday I donate in honor of him and his brother. If you had a stillbirth, or late miscarriage, you probably received a box with resources and mementos. Something the hospital will always accept are these hand picked boxes for the soon to be bereaved parents. I've attached pictures of some that I have donated to hopefully inspire you to do the same! When Cohen turned 3, I went big with the help of a fundraiser I put together, and donated a Cuddle Cot. Something I wish I would've had, and am sure the parents are very thankful for. Read about it if you have time, it's unique, and very needed at most hospitals.

For my oldest son's first birthday, we had a celebration with close family, and had music playing. Linked is the playlist I made and have continued to add to. Music is very helpful because I can’t always say how I feel, especially dealing with something that makes you feel numb at times. I've added a picture from his first celebration to give you an idea of what you can do. At this celebration we had sweets, gifts (items to decorate his grave/for his memory wall), and had a balloon release! Just because they aren't here with us doesn't mean we can't celebrate the life they should've had.

Scott & White in College Station (maybe others but I’ve been to this one) have a day once a year where you can go to the garden area and they have a get together. You’re able to meet others and hear their story, make crafts for your baby and take them home, eat, and just enjoy being around others that know how you feel.

Speaking of things you can bring home, for my boys, I did a memory wall. Hung a shadow box, the coming home onesie, a clock for the time he was born, things like that. I have friends who did a corner, or a shelf set up instead that you add small treasures to remind you of your baby.

I’ve had a stillbirth and miscarriage and miscarriages are hard because there’s no grave or specific area to visit your baby. I recommend planting a tree in honor of, or finding a spot in your yard and dedicating it for your baby. Decorate it, go to spend time when you want to feel close with your baby, it becomes a safe space. I am always decorating Cohen's grave, mainly for Christmas but I've done all the holidays and love that I get to do something with him.

Something they do all over, including in Texas, is a walk in honor of babies. It’s called the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep walk. Check out their website for dates, but I've been to one, and enjoyed it. I was able to meet so many girls that went through similar things and spent time honoring all of our babies. They do a butterfly release, you can leave their name on a lock on a bridge, make small crafts, and invite all your family and friends. Along the walk, if you raise money or purchase it, there are signs along the way with your baby’s name. I highly recommend attending at least one group activity to honor your baby, the feeling is like no other.

I hope some of this helped and I’m always here if you need someone to talk to!